Resistance Through Rest: Freeing Ourselves from the Grasp of Grind Culture

By Amanda Burke - Director of Instructional Support

Amanda Burke's post features information from The Nap Ministry, “an organization that examines the liberating power of naps.” To learn more visit: https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/

Pause and envision a person who embodies success. Most of us picture someone hardworking, who has risen above all odds. Yet, oftentimes this ideal is achieved at the expense of our wellness. Parents know all too well that achieving our goals -- career, family, or personal -- often involves sacrifice. Pulling all-nighters after wrangling the kids into bed, taking on that extra shift when we’re at our limit, or making that emotionally draining phone call when our bodies are telling us “no”. When our inboxes are overflowing and there’s no milk in the fridge, we push ourselves that much harder to hold it together, sacrificing our wellbeing to satisfy the people in our life, and our own expectations of ourselves. 

“The hustle” beckons many of us like a beacon. We all want to do more, earn more, be more. After all, it is the American way. Many of us have been raised to internalize the idea that if we aren’t falling into bed exhausted and burnt out every night, we aren’t doing enough. We are fed the narrative that hard work is the ultimate signifier of human value -- that even if the odds are stacked against us, toil, sweat, and tears can help us rise up in the ranks, and if we don’t, it’s our own fault. This is the “bootstrap theory”, and it is integral to maintaining a damaging culture of overwork and self-blame that ignores systemic barriers to success. 

We see “bootstrapping” play out in our children’s’ schools, where students are told they have deficits because they do not find joy learning science from a dry textbook, where they learn to cram and pull all-nighters and find camaraderie with their peers in their matching eyebags and caffeine addictions. We see our children grind through busywork like worker bees (or perhaps Zoom Zombies) so they can turn their cameras off and zone out with YouTube for the remainder of their math class - a brief respite from a kettle of endless information bubbling over - surveys, check-ins, recorded video responses. 

Their well-meaning teachers might say, “Get enough sleep,” but let’s face it: our education system is preparing our children for an 80-hour workweek. For many, the structure of our education system factors into the high rate of teenage depression and anxiety, as well as the elusiveness of sleep. 

And we, the adults in their lives, reinforce the message. We model it by skipping meals and working through lunch breaks, saying “yes” when we’re stretched as thin as a supply of N95 masks - in fear that we might miss out on an opportunity, or often, out of a feeling of necessity. Because we exist in a social order dependent on maintaining capitalism, the powers that be depend on our fear of falling behind.

And thus, we (perhaps unintentionally) glamorize the grind, while our children internalize the same “truths” about work and success we were taught as kids. 

“But that’s part of growing up,” you might say. “Kids need to learn to work hard so they can achieve their goals. Otherwise, they won’t be successful.”

Hard work can indeed yield valuable rewards and personal satisfaction. But many of us - pulled in multiple directions by the clutching fingers of our careers, our families, our education, and our hobbies - have come to undervalue balance, as we try to ensure that we, and our kids, can do it all. Ask yourself: is a goal worth pursuing if it comes at the expense of your - or your child’s - wellbeing? 

What if we re-imagined the idea of “success”? We might just open the door to a more balanced life. 

Let’s pause and reflect. If you’d like, grab a pen and paper to free-write or jot down some words that come to mind when you see each of these questions: 

• What do “work,” “rest,” and “productivity” mean to you?

• What are some "truths" you have been taught about success, productivity, or education? 

• What are some ways hustle culture has manifested in your own life? 

• What are some physical, mental, and emotional effects of this culture?

Now comes the hard part: figuring out how to value and honor rest. 

Meaningful rest. Intentional rest. Time that is truly our own, not divided between planning dinner in the back of our mind, responding to work emails because they’ll just take a minute, or ruminating on the latest election news while we drink our morning tea. 

After all, rest is a beautiful form of resistance. 

Ready to start your journey of disrupting grind culture?

• Learn more:

  • How I Learned to Stop Glorifying the Hustle and Start Living Intentionally

  • Disrupt Grind Culture, But How? More thoughts from an educator

  • The Nap Ministry examines rest as a radical tool for community healing, believes rest is a form of resistance, and names sleep deprivation as a racial and social justice issue.  

• Brainstorm with your kids: How can we disrupt this culture? (Consider: rest, reframing, boundary-setting, prioritizing, community care, self-care) What are some obstacles? (parental expectations, fear of failure, grades/teachers, work overload)
  
  

• Plan with intention: Using the fabulous executive function tools and tricks they have learned from their tutor at CM, make a concrete plan for how you and your children will pursue meaningful rest