Is Harm Reduction Hurting Our Kids?
By Lisa Miller
Harm Reduction (1) is a set of practical strategies and ideas focused on reducing negative consequences associated with drug use. Harm Reduction is also a movement for social justice built on a belief in, and respect for, the rights of people who use drugs.
Recently, it's become a popular parenting philosophy whereby parents acknowledge that:
They can't control all of their child's choices;
Itβs inevitable their child will make some bad choices.
They prefer to foster an environment where unsafe choices become less dangerous.
For example, it's the parent who supplies their teenager with high-grade marijuana from a dispensary, rationalizing that it's safer than street weed because they know the origin, the strain, and can accurately administer the dosage. Or the parent who allows their teenager to party (consume drugs/alcohol) with their friends in the basement, rationalizing that it's better for them to be drunk and/or high where an adult is present and could intervene if needed.
Generally speaking, Harm Reduction has its place in society and can be highly effective at reducing the impact of risky behavior. For example, providing clean needles to drug addicts reduces the spread of HIV and other communicable diseases, and supervised injection sites reduce the risk of overdoses and other risk factors.
At its core, the harm-reduction model or approach, assumes that participants are already at a certain stage of self-harming behavior and is therefore designed to mitigate further damage.
It's not meant to be a starting point for how families approach boundaries around drug and alcohol use.
Not all adolescents engage in dangerous and illegal behavior. It depends on a variety of factors, including what you're modeling for them at home (i.e. your consumption of drugs and alcohol), your attitude towards underage drinking/drug use, your child's personality and self-esteem, and your child's peer group, to name a few.
That said, we are often swayed by our child's (very persuasive!) insistence that everyone they know (check all that apply):
π³ smokes weed;
π³ vapes;
π³ drinks alcohol;
π³ parties on the weekends;
π³ does/consumes/uses (insert reckless behavior).
We hear (and read) many accounts that seemingly confirm these "statistics;" it's not surprising that Harm Reduction sounds reasonable, even necessary and responsible!
Don't believe the hype.
First of all, there are plenty of adolescents who don't consume drugs and/or alcohol. Here (2) are some actual facts about teen drug and alcohol consumption from 2017 (2). To be sure, Juul (e-cigarettes) has been a game changer - vaping has had a significant impact on our youth in the last two years. But with the recent, well-publicized health scares relating to vaping, our teens are starting to realize how harmful vaping is, and more of them are saying no thank you.
Secondly, you have a much greater influence on your child than you might realize.
When interviewing adolescents, I regularly ask them if and how they are able to avoid partying (too much). The most common replies are:
My parents discussed with me the (negative) impact of drugs and alcohol on my brain and my body.
My parents were very clear about the rules in our family and what would happen if I broke them.
I don't want to hurt myself (these kids have unusual maturity and high self-esteem), so I usually tell my friends, "I'm cool," or, "that's not really my thing."
Our kids aren't stupid; in most cases, they aren't trying to permanently damage themselves. They are just doing what generations of teens have done before them (including you, probably): rebelling.
The message you send them during this period of rebellion and boundary testing is crucial. You can (and should) set the tone so the wheels don't fall completely off the wagon.
Talk to them about the negative impact drugs and alcohol have on the developing teenage brain (ideally, this conversation begins in elementary school, but it's never too late to show you care); educate them about the laws and the consequences of breaking them; model for them what it looks like to say no to drugs and alcohol (yeah, you might have to live a more tame life); be crystal clear about your expectations with regard to drug/alcohol use in your family and the consequences of not meeting those expectations (do your best to follow through).
If your child is younger than thirteen, role-playing peer scenarios around drugs and alcohol can be very effective. Some, but not many, older teens will tolerate role-playing. Older teens respond well to articles and information culled from sources they trust; my 16-year-old gets their news from Snapchat (Vice News and NBC News), their Apple news app, and Buzzfeed.
Holding the line on drugs and alcohol can feel exhausting, confusing, and even hypocritical; I hear from a lot of parents that they partied hard as teenagers (in the 80s and 90s) and they are "fine." Some of us still party. But studies (3) consistently show it's not the THC of our youth. Given all that we now know about the impact (4) of drugs and alcohol on brain development, it's not Harm Reduction to allow it; it's actually harmful!
Before you adopt a harm-reduction approach, ask yourself if you've done everything you can to prevent your children from engaging in dangerous and illegal behavior. It's not inevitable and you can do something about it, other than allow it.
Check out Love and Other Parenting Challenges for more inspiration.
Sources:
(1) https://harmreduction.org/about-us/principles-of-harm-reduction/
(3) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6312155/
(4) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2827693/ο»Ώ