Let's Go Back to the Future (Un)School

By Tatiana Guerreiro Ramos

Looking Back from 2050

Remember back in the olden days, when we thought sitting mostly still for seven hours a day and making kids learn trigonometry and eleventeen thousand pages of ancient writing by ancient people and ignoring basic life skills like tax returns and resumes and driving and geography was a great way to educate kids?

Remember when grades were used as a way to measure how much students understand? And an F meant kids had to repeat the same class over again, sometimes IN THE SUMMER, with the same method of instruction that didn’t work the first time around? And the grades dictated whether or not kids were allowed to go on field trips, or participate in class celebrations?

And assessments were done by giving kids long-ass paper tests that included material from six months ago and asked questions about things teachers hadn’t talked about in class but had assigned for homework, you know, just to make sure they were paying attention?

Were you around when, get this, some 3rd graders were STRESSED OUT because they couldn’t “keep up” with math or were made to feel bad about themselves because they COULDN’T PAY ATTENTION?

Remember when going outside to play was an elementary-school thing and only for 15 minutes twice a day? And…wait for it…you were allowed 10 minutes to eat??

And graphic novels weren’t considered “real books” by some teachers? But making reluctant readers analyze Ursula K. LeGuin’s introduction to her own novel, “The Left Hand of Darkness” as HIGH SCHOOL SOPHOMORES was totally okay? Because that DEFINITELY made teenagers want to read more.

Recall the years when we didn’t teach anything resembling constructive communication, compromising, how to respect your elders, basic cooking, and how to balance your checkbook?

Can you recall the days of yore, when teenagers, whose circadian rhythms change drastically in high school, when they become night owls, had to be at school, ready to learn and listen and process A LOT of verbal instruction, by 8:30am, before they’ve really actually woken up or had a minute to eat?

Oh, and my favorite, remember when there was a test that was FOUR HOURS LONG that you could only take hella early on a Saturday and there were no do-overs on that day and, like, one chance to retake the hella-long test because students also had to do thirteenmillionkajillion other things on weekends so they had an iceberg’s chance in hell of getting into their safety school?

Yeah, all of those things actually happened.

IRL.

True. F**king. Story.

So glad we don’t do stupid crap like that anymore.