Coronapocalypse

By Tatiana Guerreiro Ramos

Armageddon shop. Check. Worksheet packets. Printed. Library books out the wazoo. Stacked.

Up next:

• E-playdates

• Bigly doses of vacuuming

• More screen time than you’re normally okay with

• More e-playdates

• Eleventeen dog walks per day

• Calisthenics

• Virtual museum tours

• Live animal cameras

• Really cool book reports

• Epic text threads with your parent friends

• Denial

• Yes, more e-playdates

• Rationalizing leaving the kids home alone for five hours

• Trying to locate toilet paper within a 20-mile radius

• Wondering why teachers aren’t the highest-paid workers in the country

• Homeschool

• Running out to replenish your wine cellar